Welp. Here it goes. Playlist entitled “Acoustic Concentration” going and a glass of wine in hand (capitalizing a bit on some of that liquid courage, if you know what I mean), I’m finally sitting down to write. I’ve caught a bit of a writing bug that has been lying dormant for quite some time now. I don’t know, something’s been awakened where I feel like I have something to say. (Well, those of you that know me beg to differ, rightly stating that I tend to ALWAYS have something to say). Nonetheless, we will see where this takes me. And hopefully you’ll stick around with me for the ride. You like adventures, right?
Who am I? Fair question. Some days, I find myself asking myself the same question. Funny how that goes sometimes.
I, in my opinion, am many things. I’ll shoot a few at ya, and you can decide for yourself what you think.
First, I’ll give you the “elevator speech” version. You know what I’m saying, that college-ruled answer of the quickest synopsis of you. I’m a 27-year old female living in Milwaukee (Chicago born and raised, yikes) who has just gone through LOTS of adjustments in life. I’m talking major upheaval here, folks. Life as we know it has been completely turned upside down, and most days I am merely trying to find which way is up. I recently received full licensure and certification for my career (which was a total of a 4-year process), was recently married to my wonderful husband (shoutout!), we moved in together after the wedding and are in the midst of navigating this uncharted territory called marriage (ladies, living with a man is CULTURE SHOCK), and of course have recently rescued an oh-so-energetic boxer-lab mix who has so much love to share (who also apparently is not a fan of sleep). So the puppy-parent thing happened (aren’t you supposed to test the waters with a dog before you have a baby? At least that’s what my sources say!). But wait! There’s more 😉
I’m a daughter (not always the best one), and a friend (again, not always the best one). I’m also a wife (shoutout to the wonderful man who has hitched his wagon to mine!). I’m a musician by hobby and desire. It makes my soul awaken, and gives me a sense of purpose. I’m a listener by profession, and aiming to be by habit (it’s a work in progress, I’m not gonna lie). I’m a “go-getter” (some people have other words for this, but this is me putting it in a positive light. Why not!). I’m an expert worrier (oh yes. More on that later). I’m a control ADDICT, and addiction is truly what it relates to (yet a perfectionist in recovery!). I’m someone who has had a fair share of battles with weight and body image (honesty hour here). I’m an enjoyer of life (there is just so much here-sometimes I don’t stop and recognize it enough). I’m a frequent ingestor of caffeine (coffee, please, on the rocks.) And, I’m a sinner. But most importantly, I’m a girl who is seeking to allow Christ to fully captivate my heart and life. I’m a lover of Jesus.
Now here comes some vulnerability:
I think it’s important to state that about 2 years ago, I was absolutely MISERABLE. I’m talking run down into the ground, going 1,000 miles a minute, constantly trying to keep up with the over-arching demands of life, overly concerned with pleasing others, constantly saying “yes” when I really wanted to say “no”, placing everyone and everything else before myself-MISERABLE. I’m not even sure if people in my life truly knew just how miserable I was. I of course, being the independent female that I am, couldn’t dream of letting anyone see the broken pieces that were piling up inside of me. So I remained in this place (and honestly looking back, it probably started even sooner than 2 years ago) until I finally decided that enough was enough. This was not a way to live. This brutal time in my life came from a variety of sources (mainly self-created) and manifested into many consequences on my life-and I’m willing to lay it bare for you to see how and why it got to this point: and how each day is a battle away from the individual I used to be during that season of life. Maybe some of you can relate-we will see!
That’s just a snipit. A little teaser, shall we say. I’m sure you will learn more along the way, maybe even some you DIDN’T need to know (um hello, TMI much?). Why am I doing this you ask? Haha, fair enough.
Like I said, I feel like I have something to say. However, because I feel like I always have something to say, I don’t always do enough reflecting as I ought to. I feel this is a very important element and practice of life, as it catalysts gratitude and positive growth (and I am all about that positive growth, you feel me?). They say (whoever “they” is) that you should always have a reason for doing something.
My reason? Because I want to encourage you that you are made for MORE.
Made for MORE than just being in “survival mode” due to the demands of this world. Made for MORE than constantly running yourself ragged in order to appear competent in the eyes of others. Made for MORE than being constantly depleted and not having enough energy to give to yourself and your loved ones.
As I lay the cards on the table, I’m hoping that my reflection and sharing of my journey may reach the hearts of you readers, and impact your walk of life as well-in any way that might mean for you. Whether it’s to say “I have never thought about it that way before” or “that’s just what I needed to hear”, or something even as simple (yet powerful) as “wow, me too”. And if its to say “Woah, this girl is off her ROCKER. Thank heavens I am not like her”, that’s fine too.
So what will you find here? You will find raw, honest truths. You will find hilarity in my mishaps of this journey we call life. You may also find some helpful insights into how you can embrace authenticity in your life and in your relationships-something that binds us together as a human race and connects us in ways that are seen and unseen.
Most importantly, you will find that you are likely not alone in your struggles. In your insecurities. In your fears. In your desires.
Let me walk this with you. And let’s be real. Together.