Do you ever have that far too familiar feeling of being stuck?
Ugh. Such an icky feeling.
It’s a feeling that grips you on such a deep level, even down to your very soul. I think of how often I can find myself falling into the glamorous trap of this feeling. The past week, I’ve been noticing that something just feels off. After work today, sitting on our balcony gulping in the fragrance of the fresh, cool air, lager in hand (because I can never recognize anything anywhere besides in the stillness), I found myself caught up in this very internal monologue:
“I just feel so stuck in everything right now”.
Sometimes, we get to a point where everything feels like a chore. Being social. Folding the laundry. Finishing the dishes that are piling up well beyond what is characteristic. Accepting physical touch. Looking in the mirror. Taking a shower. Being “on” at your place of employment. Doing what we enjoy. Showing affirmation to loved ones.
These are all “good” things. But when we dwell and sink into this “stuck” feeling, even the good things seem like a chore.
We find ourselves asking “what’s the point?” far more than we’d care to experience.
Call it depression. Call it overwhelm. Call it hopelessness. Whatever you call it, the theme remains the same: we tend to feel stuck in our own circumstances.
And without even realizing it, mediating on this mindset strips away all of our power to either a) do something about it, b) cope with it, or c) ask for help through it as we walk through the trenches.
So we isolate. We stuff it down. We wait for it to pass.
Why are we so afraid to identify this as feeling “stuck” and admit that we are there in our mind and heart? Why can’t we say this to others?
I’m not downplaying suffering. Because it’s real. And it happens. But where’s gratitude in this mindset? We say “there’s not enough room for it”. However, that’s the only thing that tends to bring us out.
I had a woman in my office the other day. She says to me, “I’m down to a balance of negative 445 dollars in my bank account. But I have to keep going because my son, daughter, and husband need me to. I can’t let that rule me right now”.
We have a friend of ours that just lost her unborn baby. 8 months pregnant, and her baby was called home to heaven while still in her precious, life-preserving womb, with absolutely no warning. She still had to give birth. The grief is unimaginable.
I heard a story from a neighbor last night of how she was attacked by a dog. And her own dog jumped in the way of the attack, taking the pain and the gnashing in the place of her owner. What bravery and selflessness. From an animal who has never spoken a direct word to her owner.
The people God has placed me to walk with humble me. They ground me. They give me perspective.
We must saturate ourselves in the truth of our Lord’s life-giving, redemptive, gracious, and all-encompassing love and power that takes us beyond any circumstance we may be experiencing.
I have to continually challenge and remind myself that God is ENOUGH for me. That He can do MORE than I ever can. And that is why my ultimate yardstick of “how am I doing” should be surrounding His grace and mercy rather than my circumstances.
Feeling down is okay. Feeling let down is normal. Brokenness is welcome. God understands that. He overcame that. He wraps you in grace through that. He cherishes your heart and mind in the midst of that.
Praise be to Him.